While all relationships affect us intensely and involve a variety of dynamics, personal relationships definitely play an extremely significant role in our lives. A personal relationship with friends or lovers can bring you the greatest joys and also carry you to the depths of despair so simply learn How To Have A Happy Personal Relationship.
How To Have A Happy Personal Relationship?
It is, therefore, important to understand certain key factors that can mean the difference between a happy and fulfilling, and a volatile and mercurial relationship.
Tips For A Happy Personal Relationship
Be Happy Within Yourself
One of the reasons most personal relationships fail is that each person in the relationship looks to the other person to make him or her happy. Now you might think this is a natural thing to do, but if you look deeper, it is actually detrimental to the relationship.
You see, if you constantly want your friend or partner to make you happy, you will want him or her to always behave in a certain way that pleases you. This can put a lot of pressure on the other person and he or she may get frustrated in the relationship.
How would you feel if someone forced you to always be polite or to always behave in a certain way? You would feel restricted and this is how the other person feels when you expect him to make you happy all the time.
A better option is to pursue a lot of activities that make you happy anyway and treat any happiness you derive from your personal relationships as a bonus. If you are already happy, the other person’s presence will increase your joy. On the other hand, if you are sad and dejected and looking towards the other person to make you feel blissful, you may be disappointed.
Note that being happy within yourself is definitely not an easy thing to do. It is easy to expect your friend and partner to be always there with you to boost your mood. However, this is not sustainable in the long run. The best personal relationships are between people who share their natural happiness with each other and not between people who keep making the other person happy.
Give A Lot Of Personal Space
Yet another common problem in intimate personal relationships is that very often, we take the other person for granted. This means that we stop treating the other person as an individual who can make choices different from ours.
For example, you may be upset with your friend or partner because he or she may be unavailable this weekend. Similarly, you may argue with them about a certain political or personal issue and their opinion may be exactly the opposite of your opinion. Such differences are completely acceptable because they are not you! All personal relationships have boundaries and you need to respect them to enjoy these relationships.
Do Not seek to Fill Any Void
Many of us subconsciously try to fill the void we feel in our lives through relationships. If you are guilty of this, note that doing so can be very injurious to your relationships.
For instance, if you did not have a very satisfying childhood, you may subconsciously seek a parent in your friend or spouse. Similarly, if you had always wanted an elder brother you could fall back on, you can sub-consciously see your friend as such a person and expect him to fit into that role.
Please note that allotting roles to other people because you miss something in your life is not sustainable in the long run – unless the other person also accepts that role willingly. A better idea is to talk to yourself, journal, and figure out healthy ways to fill your void through activities you enjoy. No one enjoys having another person depend on them excessively, so strive to be independent first and connect with people intimate with you as an individual.
Keep The Surprises And Compliments Coming
A common problem in personal relationships is that we often forget to appreciate and respect the nice qualities of the other person. Scientists say that our brains judge situations and people negatively because we needed to be cautious and careful about predators when we evolved from apes long ago.
However, we don’t need that negativity bias anymore. Authentic appreciation, a free flow of compliments, and some surprises here and there can give a terrific boost to any personal relationship. Would you not love to be surprised with a gift when you come home from work? In which case, go ahead and do something special for your spouse or friend at least once in a while!
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Do Not Stifle Your Own Desires
One problem that can wreck personal relationships is being too submissive. Sometimes, because we are very close to someone, we tend to give their desires greater priority than our own. Doing this sometimes is fine, but if you do it a bit too often, you won’t be happy.
Consider a situation where your partner wants to eat out but you want to eat at home. Obliging once is fine but in the long term don’t make putting yourself second a habit. Assert your desires boldly and unabashedly once in a while – after all, if you won’t express your truest desires in your personal relationships, where will you express them?
Respect for your own desires coupled with respect for the other person’s desires leads to a healthy relationship. Do not think of most situations as ‘either-or’ situations where only the desire of one person needs to be respected at the expense of the other.
There is almost always a third solution that will please both people involved. If you want to eat at home and your partner wants to eat restaurant food, how about ordering food home for instance?
Personal relationships are not as tough as they are made out to be if you respect and appreciate both yourself and the other person. Be happy within yourself, pursue your own desires, give space, and parallelly appreciate and help the other person without too many expectations. You will then create some splendid relationships!